Danielle's bladder vs. Lasix - TKO in round 1

I've discovered the key to weight loss...Lasix. Today I had a test at the hospital to check on my kidney function and the patency of my left ureter. The test went something like this: Strap Danielle to a moving table and insert her between two huge cameras. Inject radioactive tracer into her veins and take pictures as it infiltrates her kidneys. Wait 20 minutes and then inject her IV with Lasix, a diuretic drug, and laugh mercilessly from the corner as she struggles not to pee all over herself prior to the completion of the test. Okay, okay, there was no laughing, but I do have to admit to a bit of cockiness here. I have always prided myself on having a bladder of steel. I pretty much scoffed in my head when the tech told me some people could not complete the test due to inability to "hold it" long enough. Friends, my poor bladder was almost no match for Lasix. I made it, but it wasn't easy. I finally caved and asked the tech how much longer I had, and when she answered 4 minutes I could have cried with relief. I then spent the next hour or two emptying my body of every last molecule of H20. The result is that for the rest of today I have felt positively svelte, which is a big feat considering that I have not lost a single ounce since weigh-in last Thursday. I'm hoping tomorrow to see some type of drop, however miniscule, and however temporary due to water loss, as I need to post my results on my FB status line, and I'm not looking forward to admitting no loss or, horror of horrors, a gain. Last time I dropped a significant amount of weight, I did it all through diet only. Does not look like I am going to be as lucky this time, as I have not been exercising along with eating right, and the lack of movement on the scale tells the tale on that one.

Definitions

Mortification: When your 6-year-old son comes home from school and tells you he told his teacher we cannot participate in the coin drive for Haiti because we have to save money for Florida (we are going to Disney next month).

Pride: When a few days later your 6-year-old son takes 10 bucks' worth of change out of his own bank to bring to school for the Haiti effort without being asked, prodded, or reminded in any way, shape, or form.

Are you kidney me?

Quickie blog: Saw uro today. Need another test called a Lasix renal scan. This will determine if I have a blockage and check my renal function, etc. The results of this test will determine what, if anything, needs to be done. Test is to be done next week at the local hospital.

Haiti

This morning with my morning coffee I read the most horrifying newspaper article about a nursing home in Haiti that was devastated by the quake. The article described the residents sleeping outside the facility, some on mattresses, some on the ground. It further described rats being attracted to diapers that had not been changed in days and at least one resident already passing away from lack of food, water, medicine, etc. It was very vivid in its description, also, of the way the neighborhood people had erected a tent city on the grounds of the nursing home, blocking the residents from view and essentially isolating their plight from anyone who could help them. As of the writing of the article, absolutely no aid had gotten through to the residents, and some of the residents had been robbed of what little they had. One blind resident confined to a wheelchair had been relegated to beating back the crowd with her cane if she sensed people coming too close to them.

After I finished the article I had to get up and walk to the kitchen to get a paper towel to mop my face, which was wet with tears. In walking to the kitchen, I had to walk past my pantry, absolutely brimming with food. Not only do I have more food than I need, I will often go buy more if I am not in the mood to eat what we already have available in the house. How can I have so much while these people are suffering a fate that I cannot even begin to imagine? I want to scream at someone to DO SOMETHING for these people, but of course people are doing all they can, but it is simply not enough. Lest I forget how absolutely fortunate I am for everything I have, I am writing this blog entry to remind me.

Doesn't take much to make me happy

While leaving our favorite Mexican restaurant tonight, Jake and Layne were about to cross through the bushes in the parking lot on some stepping stones. Jake saw an elderly man coming from the opposite direction and stopped to let the man go first. The man then told Jake to go ahead and go, so Jake and Laynie proceeded to go ahead. Without any prompting, as each of my children passed this man they said thank you to him. The man then made a comment about what polite children my children were. I know! I could hardly believe my ears myself! Chests puffed with pride, Dan and I both acted like they had found the cure to cancer as we pulled out of the parking lot. Dan: "Well, we must be doing SOMETHING right." Indeed we must.

PS: I also like the way my butt looks in my new jeans. Again, doesn't take much these days. It's the little things.

Goulash

This entry is so named because it will contain a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

First off, let me just say that I do not know what is wrong with me the past few days, but my emotions are like wild animals that have been let out of their cages after extended captivity. They are all over the place! Granted, a little sadness is expected with Heather's birthday, but my emotions have been WAY out of proportion. Yesterday I cried at a newspaper article about a homeless panhandler who returned a wedding ring after a donor inadvertently gave it to him in a handful of change, a two-minute snippet of the movie Young at Heart that featured Fred Knittel, and a vignette on American Idol about a 16-year-old hopeful and her grandmother with Alzheimer's. Oddly enough, though I felt sickened by the situation in Haiti, I did not cry. I guess to trigger the tears the story has to be a personal one. I bet one person's story about what they went through during the earthquake would do the trick. There were a couple other tear-jerking occasions yesterday and today, but you get the gist, and the gist is I'm a fucking mess!

So today I was feeling a little cabin-feverish after being inside with a sick Laynie all day yesterday and the prospect of more of the same today, so I decided today was as good a day as any to submit my nursing school application. Drove out there with Laynie and handed over the envelope to a nice lady who took it, opened it, made a nice comment about my TEAS scores, and informed me I'd be hearing by the end of March by mail. Surreal that I could be starting in 4-1/2 short months!! The application asked about where you saw yourself in 2 and 10 years, and in 10 years I really want to be involved in forensic nursing. The perfect marriage of my two main interests, which are health and criminal justice. With my forensic background I'm hoping I can make it happen. Finally! A career choice!

So a few weeks ago, I guess a bit before Christmas, I started noticing a pain in my left groin area when I would roll over in bed. Didn't think anything of it. Figured it was just an ache or pain associated with being in my late 30s (did I just say that out loud? I mean 29). Anyway - while in NJ the weekend after Chrstmas it got worse. Went to doc, who ordered an ultrasound. Turns out I had a hemorrhagic ovarian cyst most likely causing my pain BUT that I also had a dilated left kidney. Doc then sent me for CT scan which seems to have confirmed the diagnosis of likely congenital ureteropelvic junction obstruction. In English, something is blocking my kidney from draining well into my ureter, and the fluid is backing up and stretching and enlarging my kidney, and this has apparently been going on for quite some time. I need to see a urologist and will likely need a procedure of some sort, so I see uro next week. Apparently obstruction is likely something I have had forever, maybe something wonky about my anatomy. I am fascinated by this whole thing. Given Laynie's diagnosis of vesicoureteral reflux, I can't help but wonder if they are at all connected. I will be interested to see what uro says. FWIW, Laynie and I both have issues on the left. Can't help but wonder if perhaps I had VUR but never any symptoms that maybe eventually caused this problem, especially since my niece (my brother's daughter) also has VUR and it does have a hereditary component.

So today marked week one of eating right and exercising (read starving myself and grudgingly accepting the treadmill back into my life) and I am down 2.6 pounds. It's a start.

Time to go help Jake with his homework and dose Laynie up with more Motrin. They have been nice enough to sit open-mouthed in front of Olivia, giving me the time to complete this entry, and they didn't even fight once!!!! There's a first for everything!!

Heather part deux

Yesterday I wrote this huge long blog entry about my friend Heather (far right above). I published it and a few minutes later took it down. It just didn't say what I wanted it to say and didn't convey what I wanted it to convey.

Heather, one of my closest college friends and a bridesmaid in my wedding, passed away on 06/29/2005. I miss her. Yesterday was her birthday. She would have been 38. Remember the song 88 lines about 44 women? Here are 30 lines about 1 awesome woman.

1. She was tall, thin, blonde, and beautiful. Every guy wanted to date her, but you would never in a million years have known it to talk to her. She simply was not conceited.

2. First memory of Heather circa 1990: Pumps with jeans and Casual Corner tops, crying in the dorm hallway on the hall telephone as she fought with her overly-possessive boyfriend.

3. Last memory of Heather circa early 2000s: At a party at Suz's house. Heather was in the midst of her battle with ulcerative colitis. Her normally long, shiny hair was thin, shorter, and a bit matted, and her normally thin face was swollen from steroids. She kept putting her hand in front of her face, clearly embarrassed by her appearance. It broke my heart.

4. Heather at her bachelorette party, laughing hysterically at the "cop" taking off his clothes.

5. Heather driving our rented Buick Century down to Key West, Jimmy Buffett and Gin Blossoms blasting on the radio.

6. Heather on stage in Key West in the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest and winning third place.

7. Heather spending some of her financial aid money to buy her family extravagant Christmas gifts.

8. Heather's room in the house on Washington Avenue, completely undecorated and devoid of personality except for the closet bulging with clothes, clothes, and more clothes.

9. Heather making me late every day to Business Law class because she had to shower beforehand after coming home from volleyball because she had a crush on a guy in the class and had to look good for him.

10. Giorgio Armani Red perfume. If I even smelled one whiff of it today, I'd probably burst into tears.

11. The way she would always touch and flip the front of her hair with her fingers.

12. The story about Heather getting drunk and getting jealous when another girl was wearing her boyfriend's baseball cap and hitting the cap off the girl's head, basically clocking the girl in the process, remarkable for the fact that it was completely out of character for the upbeat, friendly girl with the sweetheart personality.

13. Oil of Olay moisturizer, Pantene shampoo and conditioner. These things remind me of Heather.

14. The Freddy My Love dance from Grease.

15. How the five of us above called ourselves "the core." Jen, Danielle, Mary, Suz, and Heather. We were a unit, and I KNOW we would have been friends forever.

16. Heather having guys sign her amazingly taut and tanned abdomen at my bachelorette party in Adams Morgan.

17. Driving all the way to NC to buy beer on a Sunday while on spring break in dry SC.

18. Heather doing the splits on the dance floor at Crazy Zack's in Myrtle Beach, SC.

19. Mr. Wendel by Arrested Development reminds me of Heather and that Myrtle Beach trip.

20. Heather riding her bike to go to work at Cards and Cones in downtown Fred.

21. Her country accent, being Winchester born and bred.

22. Intramural flag football when Heather was probably the only one who knew how to play and knew how to throw and catch a football.

23. Heather thought Troy Aikman was hot. Not surprising, as her "type" was athletic and muscle-bound.

24. Her love of smiley faces and her utter positivity. I don't remember her ever being negative about anything, at least not outwardly. She was not a complainer, tending to keep her negative thoughts to herself.

25. Her loyalty to her friends and her silly voices she had with Suz.

26. Laying out in the sun on the Mason-Randolph tunnel listening to Indigo Girls Rites of Passage.

27. Heather singing, even though she could not carry a tune very well.

28. Sequined dresses, a throwback to her pageant days before we knew her.

29. Dancing on the bar at Bar Norfolk and her love of Have A Nice Day Cafe.

30. Her driving around in that Jeep Wrangler after college.

It's funny the sense of loss you can have when you find out someone is gone, even if you haven't really been seeing much of each other in the time before they are lost. When I look at pictures like the one above, my first thought is that we just had no idea. It never even occurred to us to think to cherish our time together. We had all the time in the world, right?? If only that were so.

EDITED 01/14/2010:

Sent my blog to all the girls pictured above, and Jen (far left) responded with some memories of her own. These are most of them (in Jen's words):

How she rode home with me from Julie's xmas party where Derek announced he was cheating on me.

Rolling her hair in rags.

Her wearing my victoria's secret robe while getting ready

The way she would put on make up and get primped to go to the dining hall post drinking (we all went looking like hell)

The ripped shorts she wore to Tom L's party when she just started to dress sexy.

Always wanting a ride to the bank from D.

Bra cups in her pageant gowns.

Her Jeep.

The way she was too sick to dance at her wedding.

Her short haircut after she got sick.

How frail she was as she married Don.

How she professed that you should never admit to a lie, no matter what.

Heather yelling at a boyfriend on the hall dorm phone and then smiling a huge smile to her friends passing by mid-yell.

Hims around the world.

Going shopping for my Jr. ring dance dress at Potomac mills with heather as my fashion consultant.

Picturing Heather washing cars at Enterprise in a suit and heels.

The way Heather would always put her hand on the chest of the guy she was being photographed with.

Boing-as.

Telling Suz that she should be happy for who she is and not want to be someone else.

Heather's love for Eagle's nest hamburgers that were, in her words, "just like mom used to make."

Her numerous bikinis on the wedding cruise.

Her defending me during a certain Senior year incident.

Her securing party decorations from Cards and Cones.

How she was disgusted with my husband when she first met him.

Heather helping me pin up the train of my wedding gown because she had worked at a bridal shop.

Heather dancing at my wedding with a miller lite in her hand.

How Heather loved Don and how he cried for her at her funeral