I'm not feeling as moved to write today as I was yesterday, but I do want to get this down. Wednesday night the Spotsylvania Little League (of which Jake is a part) suffered an unspeakable tragedy. We've been having some horrid thunderstorms around here lately, and Wednesday night a game was called by the ump due to lightning. I'm a little unclear on the chronology (I've seen it reported different ways), but the field was cleared except for two boys who remained playing catch. Suddenly out of nowhere a bolt of lightning struck one of the boys and then transferred to the other. The first boy did not survive; the second is fighting for his life in Richmond. When I first heard I went numb, and then I started to cry. Watching the news footage was so surreal. So hard to see the field we play at every week with a flower memorial adorning the chain-link fence, the field where I sell concessions for the League and socialize with other League families.

What I guess I want to talk about, though, is how disgusting some people are acting. On our hometown newspaper website, the comments after the articles about the tragedy were unbelievable. The finger-pointing is unreal. "How could the parents be so stupid?" "Did the parents not speak English and not hear the weather reports (their last name is Matos)?" And much, much worse. From what I understand, it was a situation where it was not raining. The skies didn't look too bad. People were milling around in the parking lot waiting for the game to restart. I've also read that the boys were tossing the ball back and forth as they were exiting the field. Who knows, I wasn't there. But I will tell you this. The last thing those parents need is to be vilified. Who as parents among us have never made a parenting mistake that thankfully did not result in a tragic outcome, although it could have? Who among us is so perfect that we can cast stones? One time Laynie got away from me in a parking lot and ran right in front of a car which thankfully saw her and stopped. If it hadn't, could I look forward to being called all kinds of bad names because I couldn't keep a hold on my kid? Is this what we have come to? I understand it's human nature to cast around for reasons why this couldn't or wouldn't have happened to you or your kid, but at the expense of these (apparently good from what I understand) parents is just wrong. These parents now have to look forward to an an empty bedroom, a child who will never finish 6th grade, laughter they will never hear again, and never being able to take pleasure in how peaceful their sleeping child looks ever again. It is unspeakable, and I for one refuse to take any part in this blame game.

Apparently the child's fellow Yankees are going to be honorary pallbearers at his service (the dad was the coach). I can't even fathom how awful that is going to be for the families and friends of this little boy. The League is being great, offering assistance to anyone who was there or involved who needs someone to talk to. They have issued information about what is normal post-traumatic behavior and when your child might need help. All League activities have been suspended until further notice until such time as the families have what they need. I'm proud to be part of such a great organization.

We told Jake that his last two games have been postponed and maybe cancelled. He asked why, and we told him two boys were hurt. He said something about their falling down, and we told him that's not what happened, but then he never asked what DID happen, so so far he does not know. I'm sure he will hear about it eventually, and if he asks us we will tell him the truth.

RIP Chelal Matos, and best wishes for a speedy recovery to the other boy who has not been identified.

Lots to say

I have a lot to say about a tragedy that happened in our community Wednesday night but no time to blog it. I hope I can hold on to my words long enough to find the time to blog them. I will say this, if you have kids, hug them tighter than ever before. If they are tantruming and you are ready to lose your mind, take a minute to be thankful that they are there driving you crazy. Love them.

Stop the clock!

We are totally done with diapers and pull-ups around these parts, and the other day we converted Laynie's crib into a toddler bed. To top it all off, yesterday Jake managed to accomplish this rite of passage (ignore Laynie having a fit in the background - I did):

Funny that I most feel like blogging when I least have something to say.

I have had WAY too much coffee today, so I feel a bit like a tuning fork right now. I'm also having a day where I am feeling kind of groundhog day-ish. I start to feel this way sometimes when one day starts to seem too much like the next. TMI I'm sure, but this also usually happens when I am PMS'ing. I should have the kids outside right now, but I'm finding it hard to stomach that idea. I just typed this big paragraph about some dynamics that are going on with the neighborhood kids, but then I deleted it because I am too paranoid that my blog will be discovered one day and that my words will come back to haunt me. Just suffice to say that there are issues that I have not yet figured out how to resolve, and this is keeping me sitting at my kitchen table typing this when I should be outside with the kids. Not in the mood today, I guess. And it's also really not all that warm out to boot. So here I sit.

Been doing pretty well with the healthy eating for the most part. I at least am in the right place mentally for it. Think I have finally found my resolve again. Now just have to find the resolve for the exercise portion of the program. It is not lost on me that I'm feeling listless and off again right when I haven't been exercising. I don't need to be a rocket scientist to see the definite connection between my mental health and my activity level. Gotta get back to it.

In happier news, got my Pat Benator and Blondie tix in the mail the other day! Going in August with a girlfriend. Can't wait!

Stream of consciousness

The hammer has fallen. I am now on day two of eating right. My weight is piling back on, and I refuse to allow that to happen. Motivation is my 15-year college reunion at the end of May. Must look hot damnit! And weighing in at 157 is not my idea of making that happen, not when my lowest was 146 or so and all of my jeans make me look like a stuffed bratwurst.

Waiting for Dan to get home right now so we can eat dinner. Starving and about to start chewing a limb off.

Happy because my mom is home from the hospital. She just spent about 5 days in for bacterial pneumonia. If it's not one thing, it's another. She was released last night. Dumb asses forgot to prescribe her an oral antibiotic, though, upon her discharge. Good thing my sister is on the case. She knew immediately that one does not get released from the hospital after spending almost a week with massive bacterial pneumonia and not be prescribed an antibiotic for God's sake.

Had a productive morning at Panera this morning with schoolwork. Have about two weeks of this class left, and my eye is on the prize of a few weeks' break before my next class starts. Hoping my summer class will be somewhat jokish - Intro to Sociology. Please no papers! That is all I ask!

Busy weekend ahead. Looking forward to it, but it's the type of thing where it will make the weekend blur by. Lunch with old coworkers, girls' night in, volunteering at concession stand for T-ball, T-ball game, out to dinner for BIL's bday, yard work, school work, work work. At least the majority of it is enjoyable!!!

Back from an extended blogging vacation

My God, I've fallen down on the job. In more ways than one, as you'll see in a minute.

Race was awesome. Above are before and after photos. They are out of order, but I don't feel like reattaching them. The top one is after and the bottom one is before. And, if you go here, you can see the during photos. It was a great experience. Offiical chip time was 1:06:24. I was very pleased with this time. My girlfriends and I all finished within 30 seconds of each other, but I think I was holding them back as one of my girlfriends went on to run another 10K the following weekend and finished in 59 minutes. Oh well! The day was chilly and wet but not actively raining, so in other words perfect for running. Part of the race was on cobblestones, and I don't remember twisting my ankle, but I must have done so because halfway through the race it started hurting and got progressively worse, but I ignored it and was able to finish. It did ache for several days afterwards but eventually went away. I really struggled from mile 5 to mile 6. I felt like I would never see the mile 6 marker, but of course I eventually did and really tried to power through the final 0.2.

And now I have not run another step since.

I was going to maybe sign up for another local 10K here in my town on 4/26, but obviously I am not now.

Mourning the loss of a good friend's father a week ago. The service was this past Friday, and it was brutally sad. Having a hard time actually believing he is gone. He was always so vibrant and full of life, so it all seems so incongruous to me. I feel terrible for my friend and the rest of her family, but I was super impressed with how she held it together at the service. RIP Mr. Ball.

I just came through a very stressful couple of weeks. So much so, in fact, that I finally had to admit defeat and email my boss on Thursday and ask her not to assign me any work on Friday. I had finally reached the point where even a superhuman could not have gotten it done. I'm just hanging on at this point until May, when my class ends and things should hopefully calm down a bit.

Went to NJ for Easter - got back yesterday afternoon. Was great to see everyone. Saw almost the entire family, and we laughed and joked and had a great time. It's not often we all get together, and sometimes when we do it doesn't work out that everyone has a good time. I suppose family drama exists in any family if you look closely enough, but this past Saturday really felt great. Want to get back up there again soon with the kids, but not sure when.

Jake is 6!!!! We are in the middle of his marathon of parties right now. Had the neighbors over for pizza the weekend before, and then on the actual day (Easter Sunday), we had cake and presents and balloons with my family in NJ. And now this weekend coming we will celebrate with Dan's family. Hard to believe he is 6 and that Laynie will be 3 in June. AND we are totally done with diapers and pull-ups around here. Yahoo!!!!!!!! Jake is on spring break this coming week, so I'm sure by the end of the week my blog posts may not be so gushy ha ha! Rainy today and tomorrow - think I might try a movie tomorrow and see how Laynie does. I'm hoping she is ready to sit through a movie so that we can take advantage of the free film festivals this summer.

I'm going to go make a huge pot of coffee right now and enjoy every last drop. Paper is done and submitted. I filed the taxes yesterday and balanced the checkbook, and when we got home from NJ, the house was clean because Dan took pity on me and INSISTED that we needed Ma*id Brig*ade to come in and clean our house to give me a break. While it was a very extraneous expenditure, I'm almost convinced the clean blinds and bathrooms alone were worth it.

Almost.

Final long run before the race

Was supposed to run 5.5 yesterday (well, okay, Sunday, but I finally was able to do it yesterday). Anyway - had mapped out the route but must have messed up because when I double checked after my run it turns out I only ran something like 5.388 miles or something. Bah humbug! Oh well. Felt pretty good. Came home and immediately grabbed a bottle of water and 3 ibuprofen tablets. My 36-year-old body just ain't what it used to be.

Speaking of, I escaped high school relatively unscathed, but suddenly I am acne girl? What is that all about? Is this some kind of cruel joke??? Might have to take Jessica Simpson's lead and try some Proactiv or something.

Keeping the theme of skin conditions, Jake's eczema is flaring big time. The other day he was writhing in his booster seat in the car because he has a particularly bad patch on his lower back right above his butt crack, and it was itching him and he couldn't get at it. Almost in tears, he finally yelled in frustration, "Do I have.....like.....a flea or something?" I got a good laugh out of that one. As for the obligatory Laynie story of the entry (can't let Jake get solo billing), she is loving the song Say Hey (I Love You) just as much as her mom. Her little voice singing it is priceless. She stands on a kitchen chair and watches the video on youtube while I dance around the kitchen. She is much more into music than Jake ever was at this age.

Easy dinner tonight, thank goodness. Guess I'd better get to it.